Monday, 24 June 2013

The Three Shag Rule

I came across an interesting article online the other day by a lady called Dorothy Black.  It went on to explain the Three Shag Rule and why it is a good idea.  In case you are not familiar with the term "Shag" - it is British slang for sexual intercourse.

The rule is as follows:
After shagging the object of your sexual affection for the third time in a row, ye shall have a conversation about what ye expectations are regarding fidelity and future shagging arrangements.

The reason why this peaked my interest is because I have just done a Cherries and Bananas post for Ramblings of a Semi-Mad Man about an office affair where the guy wanted to confess his feelings to a woman he was having a fling with at work after 10 months.  They had not had any discussions about feelings or expectations at all as yet.

Now just thinking about it all - it makes a huge amount of sense to have a talk about expectations at certain intervals of a relationship.  And as per the rule, after the third sexual encounter is probably a good place to start.

By this point you know if you you are compatible in the sack and you have a fairly good idea if you want to continue having sex with said person.  And having this talk now is much easier than having it when one of you has very different expectations to the other further down the line.

This is not a conversation about where you see yourselves in 5 years or how many kids you want to have.  This is a basic conversation about agreeing the terms of your current status - i.e. are you just fuck buddies / are you seeing anyone else / where you stand on exclusivity / are you open to looking at where the relationship goes etc.

It is a way of saving yourself some pain down the line and getting everything out in the open upfront.  It doesn't mean you cant change your mind or feelings down the line but at least you know what yours and your partners expectations are at that time and as you get to know each other better, you can renegotiate the terms.

There is nothing worse than thinking you are an exclusive couple only to find out 6 months down the line that you are not the only one your partner is seeing - especially if you have never spoken about being exclusive.  Exclusivity for a lot of people goes without saying but is not a given in today's world so rather than being heart broken down the line, why not put it out there right near the beginning and agreeing the terms.

Just sayin'.......


14 comments:

  1. Great Idea Lanthie!
    I believe `early warning' is the military term.
    Cheers, ic

    ReplyDelete
  2. Since I'm an old married woman I spit out my coffee laughing at the ecard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've had so many people saying they wish there was such a relationship status on FB

      Delete
  3. Never heard of this rule, but I like it. I think this should somehow become a universal law. It would make things alot simpler!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Decide pre-first shag. Why put yourself through all the pointless boring smalltalk of the first and second occasion otherwise? If you're not going to get a decent conversation out of them, then dump 'em before they bore the crap out of you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Communication is key!!! Not to mention the safety risk with having more than one partner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I think it opens up the line of communication in future

      Delete
  6. I should have had the 3 shag rule with my first wife. It would have been sometime around our tenth anniversary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMW - your comment had me in stitches. You obviously didn't get any very often then!

      Delete
  7. I think it also depends on how good the shagging is. If it's great then lock that down to get it exclusively. It's it's just ok then just stay fuck buddies with no commitments. Just because you have sex doesn't really mean it has to get all serious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If the shagging is no good, there is no point on going for round 3!

      Delete

Go on - leave a comment. I dare you!

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Blog Ping Tool www.HyperSmash.com